I didn't whine about sex all the time. Turns out that was the big problem: lack of communication
This was the 1st time I asked her about it (yeah, I know, men are stupid like that sometimes).
Had another talk about it. Turns out talking is key. Asked her what sex was like before she started dating me (previous partners). She said that was really bad and she felt comfortable with me for the first time (basically the same as she had told years ago, she told me then I was the first that went down on her, that her previous partners only seemed to think aboyt their own pleasure).
She just likes it the way it is now, although she said she'd (sometimes) like it to last longer. Which is where we had a disconnect in communication: sometimes I felt like she was 'finished' (because of the way she was grabbing me and pulling me inside her), so I figured I'd come myself, instead of me asking, or her telling me to continue.
So, we came to the conclusion that we need to talk more
About the simulation of breasts and vagina, and oral (giving/receiving), she said that she just assumed I wasn't into that anymore, cause I never talked about it, or asked. I told her I missed doing those things to her, because I enjoyed them, and I figured she didn't want it anymore (cause sometimes she wasn't in the mood for that, so I guess I just quit asking).
I told her the hottest thing I ever heard her say was when she asked me to 'lick her', to which she replied: "wow, I guess I was real drunk then". So I guess there's also the embarassment factor.
I tried to tell her that the greatest thing about sex for me is seeing her enjoy it and that I don't need to be drunk to go down on her.
She said again that she was enjoying the way we have sex now (position/technique), that that alone felt good enough and she didn't 'need' the extra stimulation (so she never asked me for it, while I was 'afraid' to just do it), but of course she wouldn't mind if I did. I told her I'd like to 'play' with her *****, as I don't have one myself
and it's a turn on for me. She said once more something like "I have one, but I don't play with it myself", so I believe for some reason she just never felt like touching herself down there. I think I learned a few things in all those years about how to touch her (by using the tip of my penis to rub against her clit, without using hands or fingers); back then I didn't really have a clue, which doesn't help. So I assume if she'd guide me when I use my hands ore tongue she'd be able to explain what feels best.
I was a fool to have never asked her sooner, and I guess things should improve for her as well as for me. I think maybe the big O might be in our future, if we only communicate more.
And no, it's not a goal to make her have one, so no pressure, but I think it would be a nice experience to share with her; that's why I love her so much.