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oceanbreeze · 03-07-2008, 02:58 PM

how about psychological? could she have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) which stems from anxiety? she may have so much anxiety about pleasing you and herself that she would rather avoid it. it could be that she thinks about sex being dirty with sweat, sperm/semen, breathe that kind of thing and would rather avoid it.

the kissing part is also a red flag to me. either she has a sensory integration disorder...which doesnt make sense to me since you two already have kids and have been intimate with each other or ... the anxiety part where she thinks that if you kiss her the expectation of that act leading to sex, thus, the anxiety of performance.

my other main thought is whether she was sexually abused as a child. if she didnt go any further in the counseling sessions...then i would assume something has happened. it may hurt her emotionally/psychologically (revisiting those images) and socially (what would her husband think of her then? would he reject her? thoughts like this) to go any deeper and that could be why she didnt open up during the sessions.

i think the lack of sex stems more from something deeply rooted that is not exposed on the surface. it is a sensitive issue with your wife. the good points are that you love her and have the patience and determination to try to understand her needs as well as your own.

03-07-2008, 02:58 PM	#8 (permalink)
oceanbreeze Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 71	Re: Almost sexless marriage how about psychological? could she have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) which stems from anxiety? she may have so much anxiety about pleasing you and herself that she would rather avoid it. it could be that she thinks about sex being dirty with sweat, sperm/semen, breathe that kind of thing and would rather avoid it. the kissing part is also a red flag to me. either she has a sensory integration disorder...which doesnt make sense to me since you two already have kids and have been intimate with each other or ... the anxiety part where she thinks that if you kiss her the expectation of that act leading to sex, thus, the anxiety of performance. my other main thought is whether she was sexually abused as a child. if she didnt go any further in the counseling sessions...then i would assume something has happened. it may hurt her emotionally/psychologically (revisiting those images) and socially (what would her husband think of her then? would he reject her? thoughts like this) to go any deeper and that could be why she didnt open up during the sessions. i think the lack of sex stems more from something deeply rooted that is not exposed on the surface. it is a sensitive issue with your wife. the good points are that you love her and have the patience and determination to try to understand her needs as well as your own.