Beowulf

TT is always par for the course when it comes to WS. It's unfortunately a byproduct of the fog and it's very rare that it doesn't occur. My wife ended the A on her own and I still got some TT. It happens.

If I am not mistaken hasn't your W already taken a polygraph that came back inconclusive? I may be confusing this with another thread. Polygraphs are not always accurate. I think a better measure of her remorse and willingness to make things right is her actions.

I do not believe she is a sex addict but the way you talk about the treatment is quite disingenuous considering you are on TAM talking to a bunch of recovering BS and WS looking for insight from others that have been there before. And you don't see how that works?

You are going to have to open up with or without a polygraph and whether you stay with your wife or not. It is called recovery and if you want to heal you will have to open up regardless.

Is she a closet lesbian or bisexual. Why would you ask that question? Because she had a fling with another woman. My friend you really need to read up more on women and how they think. They aren't like men. They're more open to emotional connections and sometimes gender matters less than other factors. Frankly I don't know many women who haven't at least wondered what it would be like to be with another woman. Most will not admit it but if you noted the popularity of programs like "The L Word" then you already know that's true. If she hasn't been looking before for a lesbian relationship I'm not sure why you would condemn her to that lifestyle in your mind.

Is she a serial cheater? Before this unfortunate period in her life was she promiscuous? Did she cheat before? My wife had an affair where actual sex took place and I wouldn't call her a serial cheater. Your W's affair was an EA and it took place online with the OM thousands of miles away. Her A with this OW took place in that same sphere of time when she was confused and in a fog.

Can you address the affairs is the better question. I know you have been and continue to go through a lot but I'm starting to get the feeling that your W is trying and you just can't find it in your heart to forgive. Whether you stay with her or not I think you need IC in order to address your issues. I know she did some really stupid things and any affair is heart wrenching but I've seen couples recover from far worse than this. The question is do you really want to recover or just hold onto your pain like a bulldog with a steak.