Originally Posted by Wantsmore
Seriously, if I hear one more ****ing person come on here and say you aren't putting in enough effort into your marriage. You need to make her feel this and that. You aren't considering her feelings, you need to make her feel special. I AM ****ING TIRED OF HEARING THAT ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING!!!
You know there are some of us out there that worship the ground our wives walk on. Would walk to the ends of Earth for them, even to the point of dying for them without question. Only to be greeted with hesitation and an inability to properly communicate after years of trying. I had asked my wife for bj's for years, sice before we were married. You know when I actually got my first one from her, that was without me begging and pleading for an hour or more? Last week after I spent 2 days sleeping on the couch because of her inability to give me what I need.
You know why most men give up romancing and doing things for their spouse? Because it never gets reciprocated, ever! You wonder why men have affairs on their wives. It is almost always because they are not getting something at home. Plain and simple. Most decent men would not go outside of marriage without being pushed to do so. I am in that group, but believe me I am so close to doing something I know I will regret. But enough is enough.
Why is the problem almost always put on the man's shoulders and women seem to get a free ride. I came here hoping to find some answers to issues that might be the problem. Only to have every single response to others that are having the same problems be placed back on me, or the poster. I am sick of it.
I have tried everyday to open a dialog, do things to entice and tease her and make my intentions known and make her feel special. Only to be greeted 9 out of 10 times with nothing. Nothing at all! Not even a hug and an I love you.
My advice is, for a young man, despite a child on the way. Your best decision may be to leave and find someone more compatible to you and your needs. For some reason the answers here are always the same. IF a woman doesn't want to do that anymore its your fault. If a man won't do something anymore or reveals how he feels about something he is an ******* and kick him to the curb. It would actually be nice if there was some one in here that wasn't an armchair therapist.
I am done my rant for the day.
I'm glad to see that I am not the only person dealing with this BJ issue. However, I have not been around this forum long enough to know that the typical response is that the man is/isn't doing something and that is why the woman regressed. It is good that she finally gave in and hopefully it continues for you. I know the BJ issue is small for some but it's not like I'm asking for blood diamonds from her. I am proud to say that I have never cheated on her and while I'm not perfect, I consider that I am good to her. I don't believe in stepping out of a marriage if all the needs are being met at home but of course, that is not the case right now A typical conversation on our issue usually does like this:
Me: Hey Baby, can you give me a BJ today?
Me: But why? You know that I am clean and that it isn't going to hurt either of us.
Her: Well I think that it is nasty and I don't want to do it at all forever. I just don't like doing it so don't push me and don't ask me anymore about it.
As you can see, the conversations are usually one sided and I can't really get to the root of the issue in her mind. I think I'm too nice to sleep in another room especially since she is pregnant but I think I may just start denying her oral. She really enjoys it and it's something that she looks forward to. Maybe if I cut off her supply, she will start to see things from my perspective.