Talk About Marriage - View Single Post - Separation -- I didn't want

molly92 · 03-09-2008, 01:53 AM

I've been married 15 years .. my husband has gotten into some financial debt and now lost his job.

He's opted to separate -- I had asked that we try to work through this. I could see my faults in the marriage and was willing to work at them. But, he moved out. He said he wanted to fix his life.

But I'm confused -- he says he prefers I wear my wedding rings and says he loves me. He'll honor his vows. He came up with some things he didn't like about me.. and then said he thought it was good that I was going to counseling. I asked if that's how you feel.. then why do you want to be with someone you have issues with? He thought counseling would allow me to fix myself.. I guess it's a let try everything before we close the door on this marriage.

I've asked him to give me a time frame on this separation.. weeks.. years? He's asked that I stand by him.. but for how long? He says as long as it takes.

I've spoken with his family -- and they say he's sad and confused.

We have 3 boys -- my eldest tells me 'as far as I'm concerned he quit the game'. I think he resents his Dad leaving when his Dad has raised him to be the opposite.

I know that men like to hear they're wanted .. loved... appreciated. So that's what I've tried to do.

I can understand him not wanting to talk with me because I do get emotional.

But -- do I wait? If I wait.. I run the risk of him saying "ahh, I don't want to come back'.

The not knowing is driving me crazy --

Any advise?

03-09-2008, 01:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
molly92 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 1	Separation -- I didn't want I've been married 15 years .. my husband has gotten into some financial debt and now lost his job. He's opted to separate -- I had asked that we try to work through this. I could see my faults in the marriage and was willing to work at them. But, he moved out. He said he wanted to fix his life. But I'm confused -- he says he prefers I wear my wedding rings and says he loves me. He'll honor his vows. He came up with some things he didn't like about me.. and then said he thought it was good that I was going to counseling. I asked if that's how you feel.. then why do you want to be with someone you have issues with? He thought counseling would allow me to fix myself.. I guess it's a let try everything before we close the door on this marriage. I've asked him to give me a time frame on this separation.. weeks.. years? He's asked that I stand by him.. but for how long? He says as long as it takes. I've spoken with his family -- and they say he's sad and confused. We have 3 boys -- my eldest tells me 'as far as I'm concerned he quit the game'. I think he resents his Dad leaving when his Dad has raised him to be the opposite. I know that men like to hear they're wanted .. loved... appreciated. So that's what I've tried to do. I can understand him not wanting to talk with me because I do get emotional. But -- do I wait? If I wait.. I run the risk of him saying "ahh, I don't want to come back'. The not knowing is driving me crazy -- Any advise?