lostandnotsure

Mostly a vent because I don't have any one else to talk to but advice appreciated.

I started things wanting things to improve in my house and to figure out how I feel. I've not been happy in a very long time. We've started seeing an MC, second meeting with him tomorrow but I can't stop thinking about every thing. I've been having sleeping problems because I just can't turn off my mind. I'm starting to question myself if I really want to fix things or not. I'm just not sure now.

I don't want to drag things out for our sons sake but i'm not sure what to do. I know I should be giving MC a chance but even though I was the one that insisted and really wanted to the first time the more I dwell on things I'm not sure if my heart is in it now or not or if I'm just over thinking things to much.

Since I first had the talk with my wife a couple of weeks ago she's trying to be the perfect wife and trying to do every thing but I'm wondering if she's just doing it to make me happy. The complete turn around in a day seems a bit much and this follows her normal habits when we would argue. She would change for a short period of time then start sliding back down as I started picking up the slack.

Our talk was the first time I had put all our issues on the table at once instead of just as they came up. With the way she's acting now i'm actually resenting her because she's for now taken over things that i've been doing for so long and leaving me very little to do. I want her to participate not do every thing like she is doing right now. Feels almost like I've got a servant right now. I get up to get something or do something she jumps up to try and do it. I've talked to her about this and she's given me a few very easy things to do but it's definatly not what i would consider sharing of work.

Are these normal thoughts to have when having a problem with a marriage or should I really start looking into a divorce I just don't know. I should probably give the MC more of a chance but if i'm not fully behind it like I thought I was when we started I don't know if it will really help. Only think I think I have figured out for now is that I care about my wife but I don't love her right now.Can this change? I feel like i'm being to hasty but my issues i've been dealing with have been going on for years. The time leading up to my talk with my wife I was feeling so confused it felt like I was having a hard time breath.

I'll stop here since this is mostly a vent to help me try to figure things out for what I want and think is best for the family.