01-11-2012, 01:28 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
| | Re: moving forward with divorce
Originally Posted by ProfJ
I think, based on what you have written so far, that you are doing the right thing. There's really nothing much you could do. I applaud you for being decent in the face of this ending.
Most husbands would be vindictive and ugly (Just like mine).
It is normal for her to be scared, especially if she's been a stay at home mom for so long. Even though you'v been living in an unhappy marriage, there's some sense of familiarity in each other's company. And soon, it's going to end, and it's scaring the crap out of her. Uncertainty is scary...
I think you should not bring up the idea of dating other people for now, because even if you think your marriage has ended, it's still hard to think of the person you shared your life with for a long time, finally sharing it with someone else.
We, as soon to be ex-wives still like to think that our soon to be ex-husbands might pine for us, and miss us, and that it will be hard for you as husbands to replace us. We know it's over, but let us think that we were special, and it will take time for you to forget us. It's just comforting to know that we're not the only one feeling regret over the ending of our marriage.
I'm educated and financially capable, but I'm still scared at the thought that I won't be able to call on my husband if I need him (even though, all this time while separated, I resisted the urge to call him when I do need help, car troubles, home repair, etc.) after the divorce because we will stop being husband and wife to each other ( I hope I'm making sense here).
Just continue to be kind...it's rare.
I would love for my husband to show kindness and regret even though we both know it's over.
Sounds like you're in a sad situation, sorry to hear it. But my situation is different because my wife doesn't particularly like me much and has no problem saying so. It doesn't hurt me because the feeling is more or less mutual, but is it understandable that her reactions are truly surprising?