Hello Everyone ... I've heard great things about these forums and I would love others opinions on what I'm thinking so here I go ...
I have been with my husband for almost 5 years, married for 1 1/2 years and have just purchased a condo that we love. What my issues are is the lack of shared responsibility when it comes to maintaining the cleanliness of our home. We both work full-time (him M-F 9-5, me assorted days & hours). When I come home, I always cook dinner and I always clean our home. It's gotten to the point sometimes when I clean right infront of him so he sees me cleaning, trying to get a reaction out of him (anything like, "Can I help you?" etc.) I get very frustrated when I see him go to his office and sit there for hours upon hours and play poker online. Because of this, I have grown to detest poker and him "running away" to his office.
I have tried numerous times (talking about it, yelling about it, giving him the silent treatment, etc.) to point out the fact that I am the only one who cooks and cleans; I even asked him for just once a week to cook dinner because it is so nice to come home once and not have to make anything, but his idea of that is ordering take-out.
I don't know how else to ask for help. I've spoken to my mother about it and I get an unrealistic answer because my parents are divorced and she (still) hates him and she always did the cooking and cleaning, so ultimately what I'm wondering is, is this going to be my life? Are there any other wives out there who have/had this problem? And if so, what (if anything) did you find successful in coming to a resolution to this problem?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Ultimately I would just like to know that I'm not the only one going through this.
I have been with my husband for almost 5 years, married for 1 1/2 years and have just purchased a condo that we love. What my issues are is the lack of shared responsibility when it comes to maintaining the cleanliness of our home. We both work full-time (him M-F 9-5, me assorted days & hours). When I come home, I always cook dinner and I always clean our home. It's gotten to the point sometimes when I clean right infront of him so he sees me cleaning, trying to get a reaction out of him (anything like, "Can I help you?" etc.) I get very frustrated when I see him go to his office and sit there for hours upon hours and play poker online. Because of this, I have grown to detest poker and him "running away" to his office.
I have tried numerous times (talking about it, yelling about it, giving him the silent treatment, etc.) to point out the fact that I am the only one who cooks and cleans; I even asked him for just once a week to cook dinner because it is so nice to come home once and not have to make anything, but his idea of that is ordering take-out.
I don't know how else to ask for help. I've spoken to my mother about it and I get an unrealistic answer because my parents are divorced and she (still) hates him and she always did the cooking and cleaning, so ultimately what I'm wondering is, is this going to be my life? Are there any other wives out there who have/had this problem? And if so, what (if anything) did you find successful in coming to a resolution to this problem?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Ultimately I would just like to know that I'm not the only one going through this.