 Re: He really DID File for Full Custody! Advice?
So you started out with full temporary custody. Why? Did he get visitation? How did you get full temporary custody?
I’m going to tell you some of the things that I did that helped me in my custody fight with my ex a few years back. My ex is an MD. He had a team of 4 attorneys. I had 1. I was pushing for 50/50 custody. I ended up with 60/40.
First keep in mind that most states prefer 50/50 legal and physical custody. They want both parents involved in children’s lives. Children need both parents. Unless you have something really strong against your husband.. like he’s a flaming drug addict, you are not getting 100%. And he’s not getting 100% either unless he can prove that you are a drug addict, mass murderer who eats puppies and kittens for breakfast.
Communicate with your husband only via email for setting up visitation. Then you have a record to show what did/did not happen. Even if he calls you can makes arrangements on the phone, refusing to communicate only via email, follow it up with an email saying “Per our phone conversation at 5:45 tonight, we agreed that you would pick up the children at 9am Saturday…. And return them …. “.
Print out every one of the emails so that you have a paper and electronic copy.
Also, how are you getting into his email? Does he know that you have access? Is it the same password that he had before he left?
Have your attorney ask the court to stipulate a custody evaluation. Your attorney should know who does these in your area.
When I did this, we both submitted two names of possible evaluators to the court. I really wanted was a place called “Father’s and Family”. The had a male/female team that did the evaluations. I wanted to be fair to my husband but at the same time look out for our child’s welfare. After several sessions evaluating both me and my husband together and apart; and after also talking with our son; they suggested that my husband have less time with our son then I was originally suggesting. And he had to go to counseling for 1 year with our son before he could get 1 more day a week.
They were good. They caught on very quickly that my husband was a emotionally abusive, angry person. They understood that he did not relate well to our son. So they, not me, made him go to counseling.
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