Originally Posted by preso
I know people who are in open relationships. The thing with that is they always have agreements and lots of communication about the situation BEFORE they actually do anything or get into threesomes. If your wanting to go that way in your marriage the way TO NOT DO IT is to get drunk and all of a sudden want to play some sexy adventure games. That is not the way.
Ok... my guy and I talk dirty in bed, it's a huge turn on. Hell, it might be a GIGANTIC turn on in reality, but...... there is always a but..... feelings of insecurity, unfaithfulness, attractivness and all sorts of other stuff can pop up during and after you take the next step and act on those passions.
Unless you are completely open and honest about your fantasies when you're talking about them "would you ever really want to do this, or should we just keep it the really great way it is right now, just between us" then when those possibilities come up, you both have to put on the brakes and STOP. You both we're drinking, alcohol is off the table as an excuse. You are both responsible for your own actions. The problem that I am reading here is that you just went along instead of stopping long enough to say to her "ok, this isn't just fantasizing anymore.... there is no going back, good or bad. Are you sure you want to potentially risk great sex with just us in our fantasies for this one night stand"? She's peeved at you that you didn't communicate. It's both of your faults. You encouraged her by telling her to kiss, flirt. You laid an expectation upon her when she wasn't in her finest and most logical hour. She wants to please you sexually so she did it without thinking, regardless of the fact that you both enjoyed it. She's feeling all kinds of guilt and confusion. You need to sit down and talk about it , get both of your feelings out on the table, find out why she is really upset and then go from there. You have to talk about it.