jen1020

Hi Cyp10

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. About 5 weeks ago my husband confessed to me that he had visited a prostitute.

All I can say is that you should keep him at arms length for a while. I did for a month and asked my husband to move out. This may not be necessary in your case, as my marriage had other problems prior to this. Even if you are in the same bed again doesn't mean you have to have sex with him. Just wait until you are ready (if you ever are). I had to ask my husband to leave as having him around made me ill - just being reminded of what he had done every day was destroying me.

Your husband needs to know that this cannot be just brushed under the carpet (as bpsleo suggests above) - this is not good advice. You also need to be able to talk about it with him in the short term, as you need to be able to heal. Stuffing your emotions down for your husband's benefit will not help anyone.

My husband had the excuse that alcohol was to blame for his infidelity. I'm assuming that if your husband was on a football tour then drink was involved as well (especially as you say that he came back drunk the other day as well - he really needs to look at his drinking habits). Therefore, he needs to think about perhaps either giving up the drink, or the tours. My husband is moving back in with me today, with the hope of reconciliation. The only reason I am letting him move back in is because he says he will never drink alcohol again.

What your husband did was very serious, he could have put you and your unborn baby at risk for STD's etc, even with protection. So he needs to have a definite rethink about his behaviour.

I wish you the best of luck and sorry for the feelings you are going through. Talk to your friends and family that will help.

Best wishes

Jen