beachlover

I have been married to the same man for over 32 years and felt I was living the American Dream. We have raised 3 beautiful and successful children and are now "empty nesters". Because of a psycho relative my husband confided in 25 years ago, I just found out last week my husband was unfaithful one time (so he says). When I confronted him about this, he tried to talk around it but then finally admitted the details to me, over a 3 day period. He actually said he had felt so guilty and ashamed, he tried to forget about it. I have never seen my husband openly "weep" but he begged my forgiveness. I know my husband well enough to know he was sincere. She was also married with young children at the time. This happened at an out of town conference. After a long day of meetings about 10 Associates decided to relax in the hotel hot tub with a case or 2 of beer. I won't go into all the details but there was 1-2 hours of conversation out by the pool between the 2 of them. Apparently their rooms were in the same area of the hotel so they were walking the same direction when one thing led to another. I guess afterwards they both decided this was a big mistake since they both had families and neither of them had ever cheated on their spouses before. My husband had a rental car and admitted that just the 2 of them got off the property the next(last) night to "discuss" what had happened. He said they both felt so ashamed, would never mention it to anyone and would just remain friends. They worked for the same company but in 2 distant cities. My husband admitted talking to her on the phone a few times just to see how she was doing and then he left the company, never to talk to her again. I am now obsessed with finding out more about this woman even though this was 25 years ago. I told my husband that his affair was new to me and feels like it just happened yesterday since I just found out. Two things bother me-if they felt so guilty why did they go out together the next night (even though my husband swears nothing happened)? And why did he continue to call her occasionally? My husband admitted that she was very smart and attractive and someone he could have gotten serious with if the circumstances had been different. He admitted that he actually had feelings for her but loved me and our family. I really related with Elizabeth Edwards today on Oprah. She has written a new book about her husband's affair and he told her at first that it was just one time, only to find out that wasn't true. How do I ever trust my husband again? I want to believe him but once that trust has been broken, you don't know what to believe. Through my research on this woman, I do have her email address. Should I just let this go or contact her? I have forgiven my husband (as long as it is just the one time) and divorce is not an option.