Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

twoblave · 03-10-2008, 03:34 PM

Amp,
I took your advise and bought Dobson's book. It was a great read. When I read his description of the victim (the one who doesn't want a divorce), I had a moment of clarity. It was very sobering to say the least. I'm tired of the lack of respect I have received from her. I feel it's time to take a stand. I feel my confidence growing at an incredible rate. It's time to take my respect back. I've decided to confront her about wanting to leave. Not with anger but with self respect and self confidence. No yelling or fighting but with a certain kind of calm that hopefully is uneasy for her. I'm letting go of trying to hold her in this relationship. I don't want an half assed marriage and she doesn't want to spend the rest of her days with someone she pity's. I deserve to be loved fully by my wife. If she can't choose to do that, then she is free to go. Done are the days of crying and pleading. I will not take the full blame for the fallout of our marriage. Yes, I certainly did my part. That's with out a doubt. However, had she had the balls to stand up to me and my addiction when her feelings started to change about me, maybe we wouldn't be in this mess. Let us not forget that I want this marriage to be saved and she isn't sure that is what she wants. She doesn't want to feel guilty but it takes two to break up a marriage. It will be her that makes the decision to divorce, not me. I promised God and her that I would stay by her for the rest of my life and I intend to keep that promise unless she decides otherwise. I'm sorry you had to go through the pain of your wife having an affair. It must have been so unbelievably hard. I would not be shocked if my wife told me the same. I am preparing myself for it even though she says otherwise. I'm curious as to what you and others (draconis) may be thinking as you read this. I will be doing this Thursday but I'm not sure if I should email this to her or call her about it. I feel it would be more powerful if she heard the infliction in my voice rather than hearing a voice in her head that she doesn't respect when she reads it. If I email it to her it can be read over and over. Still undecided about that. Any input positive or negative is greatly appreciated. Did you do something similar after reading love must be tough, Amp?

03-10-2008, 03:34 PM	#7 (permalink)
twoblave Registered User Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 12	Re: On the verge of losing her. Amp, I took your advise and bought Dobson's book. It was a great read. When I read his description of the victim (the one who doesn't want a divorce), I had a moment of clarity. It was very sobering to say the least. I'm tired of the lack of respect I have received from her. I feel it's time to take a stand. I feel my confidence growing at an incredible rate. It's time to take my respect back. I've decided to confront her about wanting to leave. Not with anger but with self respect and self confidence. No yelling or fighting but with a certain kind of calm that hopefully is uneasy for her. I'm letting go of trying to hold her in this relationship. I don't want an half assed marriage and she doesn't want to spend the rest of her days with someone she pity's. I deserve to be loved fully by my wife. If she can't choose to do that, then she is free to go. Done are the days of crying and pleading. I will not take the full blame for the fallout of our marriage. Yes, I certainly did my part. That's with out a doubt. However, had she had the balls to stand up to me and my addiction when her feelings started to change about me, maybe we wouldn't be in this mess. Let us not forget that I want this marriage to be saved and she isn't sure that is what she wants. She doesn't want to feel guilty but it takes two to break up a marriage. It will be her that makes the decision to divorce, not me. I promised God and her that I would stay by her for the rest of my life and I intend to keep that promise unless she decides otherwise. I'm sorry you had to go through the pain of your wife having an affair. It must have been so unbelievably hard. I would not be shocked if my wife told me the same. I am preparing myself for it even though she says otherwise. I'm curious as to what you and others (draconis) may be thinking as you read this. I will be doing this Thursday but I'm not sure if I should email this to her or call her about it. I feel it would be more powerful if she heard the infliction in my voice rather than hearing a voice in her head that she doesn't respect when she reads it. If I email it to her it can be read over and over. Still undecided about that. Any input positive or negative is greatly appreciated. Did you do something similar after reading love must be tough, Amp?