| | Re: Sporadic sex- how to react?
I agree that more subtle and more frequent forms of sexuality could be helpful given your confidence in the other aspects of your marriage. Resentment and anger are so easy but they will not help no matter how constructively they are expressed. If there is any way to overcome those and think about how to more effectively communicate your genuine affection for him, that is a good start. I know what it is like to be hurt and rejected (and even betrayed a little bit) and it's just not okay, but it's possible to concentrate on what is good and helpful instead of what is angry and hurtful.
The love languages have been mentioned elsewhere on this board and are not that complicated in theory, but in practice is a whole 'nother story. If your husband responds more to praise and appreciation and all he's gotten is jabs about wanting more sex, that's not going to help things. Even if you have to fake it at first, like, "Thank you so much for cleaning the kitchen," or "It was so nice of you to drive the kids today," or whatever, even if it's something he's always done or is expected to do or is responsible for, it can help so much, at least in my marriage.
IDK if that's just all rambling or if anything is useful, but for me, I had to learn how to communicate with my spouse in a way that shows him that I love him in the way he wants to be loved, not in the way I would want to be loved. If that makes sense.???
Also the more you can understand that some people don't desire sex as frequently or as strongly as others, and really be compassionate about that, the more accepted he is likely to feel, and acceptance is a strong aphrodisiac in itself, in my experience.