Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

PDJOVER · 03-11-2008, 11:59 AM

Hi,
I'm new to this forum (former lurker) but need some advice. I'm 41, my wife is 37. Together 13 years, married 11. We had a almost 2 year old daughter when we got married. Daughter is now almost 13, have an almost 10 year old son. We never had an actual rlationship before my wife became pregnant.

I started hearing rumors in my small town that she was spending a lot of time with another man. I confronted her on +2/12/08. She said that their was nobody else, but that she wasn't happy. I eventually got the I love /you but not in love with you talk. I have always worked weekends as a bartender as well as my full time job. One of the biggest issues she stated for her change of feelings is that I always worked during her families functions, i.e. weddings of nephews or cousins, but would take off to go with friends. I usually do a weekend each year with my friends. I also spend a lot of time visiting my friends in the bar, usually after the kids are ready for bed. She also said that she felt that I was embarrassed by her before we became pregnant, and that she was my second choice.

Since the news on 2/12 I have been doing a lot of soul searching. I have completely stopped drinking, am staying at home, and helping around the house more. I have been trying to show her through my actions that she is the most important thing in my life. She says that it is to late, and her feelings can't change.

We had a long talk on 3/9/08, and she agreed to give it a little time to see if she can regain any feelings towards me. I know that no physical affair has occurred, but am extremely worried that she has feelings for the other man. I know that I can survive without her, but can't imagine what that would be like. Financially we can't afford two households, so one of us moving out at this time is not an option.

p.s. We do plan on going on a movie date on Sat.

Any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

03-11-2008, 11:59 AM	#1 (permalink)
PDJOVER Registered User Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 26	She's lost that loving feeling... Hi, I'm new to this forum (former lurker) but need some advice. I'm 41, my wife is 37. Together 13 years, married 11. We had a almost 2 year old daughter when we got married. Daughter is now almost 13, have an almost 10 year old son. We never had an actual rlationship before my wife became pregnant. I started hearing rumors in my small town that she was spending a lot of time with another man. I confronted her on +2/12/08. She said that their was nobody else, but that she wasn't happy. I eventually got the I love /you but not in love with you talk. I have always worked weekends as a bartender as well as my full time job. One of the biggest issues she stated for her change of feelings is that I always worked during her families functions, i.e. weddings of nephews or cousins, but would take off to go with friends. I usually do a weekend each year with my friends. I also spend a lot of time visiting my friends in the bar, usually after the kids are ready for bed. She also said that she felt that I was embarrassed by her before we became pregnant, and that she was my second choice. Since the news on 2/12 I have been doing a lot of soul searching. I have completely stopped drinking, am staying at home, and helping around the house more. I have been trying to show her through my actions that she is the most important thing in my life. She says that it is to late, and her feelings can't change. We had a long talk on 3/9/08, and she agreed to give it a little time to see if she can regain any feelings towards me. I know that no physical affair has occurred, but am extremely worried that she has feelings for the other man. I know that I can survive without her, but can't imagine what that would be like. Financially we can't afford two households, so one of us moving out at this time is not an option. p.s. We do plan on going on a movie date on Sat. Any advice or words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.