Originally Posted by stressedmomandwife
Hi, Im new to this but I need help/advice.
Where to begin... About a month ago I happened to look through my H cell phone, I noticed there were deleted text messages with a co worker I then took down her phone number and looked up our phone records and found out that there were ongoing text messages between them for several months. I confronted him and he said it was all work related, of course I did not believe him and begged for the truth. He finally admited that she was just a friend but that there were some inappropriate comments made between the two. Prior to him beginning this A we were both unhappy and had problems, I felt myself falling out of love. We have been together for almost 9 years and have two kids, it is very easy for a marriage to become a routine and I think that is why we were falling apart, but we were working on things and I thought things were getting better, I was falling in love with him all over again. I have been trying so hard to get passed this and forgive him, but I cant stop thinking about it, it still feels so fresh and hurts so bad. I cant help but to feel betrayed, ugly, hurt, he has been trying to be very supportive and has stopped talking to her. I confronted her and asked her to stop talking to him as well. Obviously I dont know what happens at work but of course I still look at our phone records and there has not been any activity with her. Will this get easier? Can I learn to trust him again? Will it stop hurting? How do I forgive him and move past this without throwing it in his face everytime I think about it? Its been such an emotional rollercoaster, Im mad at him, hurt with him, but love him so much and I dont see myself without him, but giving up seems so much easier. Help.
Emotional Affairs have the problem of being not a problem for some folks or they don't see how what there doing could hurt anyone. Read some books. "Not Just Friends" is excellent. Have him read chapter 8.
Do you need to know all the details? Get into a therapists office and talk that our. I was the guy who needed to know and its been really hard to hear and get out of her, We both had to address depression (bad enough to take meds) and that has helped. Get some medical advise is my amateur 2 cents worth.