Originally Posted by Enchantment
It's always interesting to see what direction some threads can go when you haven't kept up on them.
Since my 'love language' is words of affirmation, I will say that it does indeed give me the warm fuzzies when my H expresses appreciation for the mundane, everyday things.
He doesn't need to express this all the time, but when it's done at unexpected times - like when I come home from a day at work completely frazzled, having a cranky kid clinging to me, having to get dinner on, and have him grab hold of me in his arms, touch my face, and say "baby, I appreciate everything you do to make our lives easier and better, and especially today when you had such a difficult day..." Well...you know what happens after that.
One reason it feels so wonderful is because it is so easy to take our spouses for granted - taking for granted the day to day things, yes, even the mundane things that we all have to do in our lives. Knowing you are not alone, knowing that you are seen, knowing that you are appreciated (and hence loved) and openly expressing that to our spouses can make all the difference in their world, and in turn our own.
Mother Theresa once said "There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread."
I say make sure you feed your spouse then.
I did that Love Language test the other week. I came out high on “Words of Affirmation” and “Physical Touch”. My wife would have been “Acts of Service” and “Receiving Gifts”.
We were the typical in love with each other but often not actually feeling loved. I believe this happens a lot and I feel it’s very sad that it happens. I believe it happens because opposites do attract one another.
I am though truly surprised that someone like TRBE who has been on TAM for so very long and has made so many posts does not know these things.
To have a happy, healthy and long lasting marriage the spouses really do need to learn their partner's love languages. But some spouses do actually trivialise and belittle their partner’s language of love. I like to think it's done out of total ignorance and that it's not at all deliberate and calculating.