Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

James-son · 03-12-2008, 12:39 PM

Huuummm good insight… for ¾ of our marriage we became in gulfed in the LDS church, married into the temple, we spent every free minute in the church. My wife wanted to be a stay home wife and have children. We were the Mormon Poster Child, smiles and sun shine everyday. We lived in a shack, we never went out, she hated the TV so we never watched it for years. Everything was great then, for her. I wanted more, make $30k we had no money, $40k no money, $70k no money…so I took a chance under protest of my wife to start my own business. Nine years ago I was the greatest husband in the world; neglect was even in our vocabulary. Now at 39 I whack off more then when I was a teenager, I eat out alone and feeling un-appreciated, I’m walking on egg shells not to upset her… Look at ME now, I’m so desperately lost I typing to you.. Me neglecting my wife?!

What my problem is: We have two dreams fighting with themselves right now, one is to stay home and be supper mom, kids kids kids and more kids at 24 hours a day, she wants me to be part of that life style, together. She loves being grounded. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a family man but I believe a husband and wife need some adult time.

My dreams are to move Australia, rent a condo on the beach, kids learn to surf, have the family explore new things eat new foods. etc

What changed is I retired; I’m home wanting my family to pack up and explore the world with me. My wife sees this as an invasion on her lifestyle and is holding her ground.

I understand this: what I have been trying to get for the last three years is a compromise, of having a nice lunch with my wife, take classes together be it yoga or dancing, make Friday night dinner night, plan a trip, set some goals etc.

I married my wife because she was independent, but her view of my wants is me taking away time from the children is bizarre to me. So its her way or what?

03-12-2008, 12:39 PM	#13 (permalink)
James-son Registered User Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 9	Re: My Wife does not Like Me Huuummm good insight… for ¾ of our marriage we became in gulfed in the LDS church, married into the temple, we spent every free minute in the church. My wife wanted to be a stay home wife and have children. We were the Mormon Poster Child, smiles and sun shine everyday. We lived in a shack, we never went out, she hated the TV so we never watched it for years. Everything was great then, for her. I wanted more, make $30k we had no money, $40k no money, $70k no money…so I took a chance under protest of my wife to start my own business. Nine years ago I was the greatest husband in the world; neglect was even in our vocabulary. Now at 39 I whack off more then when I was a teenager, I eat out alone and feeling un-appreciated, I’m walking on egg shells not to upset her… Look at ME now, I’m so desperately lost I typing to you.. Me neglecting my wife?! What my problem is: We have two dreams fighting with themselves right now, one is to stay home and be supper mom, kids kids kids and more kids at 24 hours a day, she wants me to be part of that life style, together. She loves being grounded. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a family man but I believe a husband and wife need some adult time. My dreams are to move Australia, rent a condo on the beach, kids learn to surf, have the family explore new things eat new foods. etc What changed is I retired; I’m home wanting my family to pack up and explore the world with me. My wife sees this as an invasion on her lifestyle and is holding her ground. I understand this: what I have been trying to get for the last three years is a compromise, of having a nice lunch with my wife, take classes together be it yoga or dancing, make Friday night dinner night, plan a trip, set some goals etc. I married my wife because she was independent, but her view of my wants is me taking away time from the children is bizarre to me. So its her way or what?