LookingForTheSun

Thank you both. I have talked alot about it to friends and family...I am not keeping it inside, but it still hurts like no other. The thing about her - my husband was the one still pursuing her - and her responding back to make him jealous - that she is with other guys - he is going to buy her a ring and has a $100k sports car, blah, blah) - he could have stopped cold turkey but did not when he said he would), so that is null and void. At this point, I can only believe that there has been no contact. It kills me though....I think the affair itself was horrible, but I almost think the lies and going back and forth are what have caused me so much more pain. Yes - she sure is a peach - very psycho and self centered, but then again, my husband sought out his own needs/wants/desires without even trying to fix things or considering me or our children. I want to believe that he wants to fix things - he is making some motions to do so, but it is still hard. I know men are wired differently. May sound stupid (and sometimes I hate him and get so angry because I feel he should be the one bending over backwards to fix everything), but I know that I have to give him some space or I may push him over the edge. My intentions are not to hurt him (even though at times I had wished he got hit by a bus). Any man who cheated out there willing to share what you went through - anything similar - how did you deal with the fallout and healing process after. Did you go back and forth before you made your final decision? Did it take you a long time to get your head on straight and OW out of your mind?