| | Re: Rollercoaster
Ex just got a big fat check for part of her retirement program that her job is discontinuing. Shes dating guy #2 now, after the guy she cheated on me with. She got her car paid off, credit cards paid down, got the inside of the marital home painted and refloored....
Seems like life for her is actually better without me.
Not that, this revelation is of any surprise to me.
My life is most notable by the additional salting of the great wounds Ive taken throughout. Those unnecessary "Extras" that come on top of the big poo pie.
Perhaps none of it would be that effective in drawing emotion from me, if she werent right across the street from my new house, visiting her boy-friend.
Watching her close knit group of girlfriends now befriending and introducing themselves, just like they did to me so very long ago.
I feel USED.
And its all so meaningless, how frustrating having to work so hard at making sense of anything now, while pieces of her picture fall so nicely into place.
Its hard sometimes to remember that I did nothing wrong.