Originally Posted by CrazyGuy
Wow yes, I am a bad guy. 17 years in a sexless marriage. Working 12 hours a day 100 miles from home to provide for my family and getting nasty calls cursing me out for taking a yogurt for breakfast at a time she was not working. Arguments that would end with her telling me "I hope you choke" as I am trying to finish my meal. Not to mention all the financial trouble she has caused and the fact I am not allowed to have friends over. Only a select amount of friends I am even allowed to talk to. She has made my son cry by telling him how much she hates me.
I was unstable 25 years ago, yes. I am not unstable now. I am however extremely stressed. As I had mental health issues I am way more understanding then most other partners she could have found. I knew she came from a broken family. I have seen the stupid fighting with her side of the family at any event such as weddings. I contacted her brothers and sisters. I asked them what they remembered about there parents divorce. That's all. The stories I got back were filled with emotional, physical and sexual abuse and they all matched each others stories.
So yeah, I guess after so many years of sh@t I finally did a minimum amount of investigation. That makes me bad for trying to figure out what all this crap is in my marriage. Read some of my other threads before you make a judgement on me.
Staying in a bad marriage with a person who controls you through your kid and yells at you about yogurt is just a different version of suicide. If you can't believe your wife when she tells you something personal, then probably you shouldn't be married to her. If there is no sex, and she's withholding, what's the point?
She's probably waiting for you to cheat at this far-away job of yours, so she can pin the blame on you. Again, being passive is just another form of suicide. Only you don't die, so you can continue to do it every single day.
If your marriage is abusive, leave. That's what the guys tell the women, ususally. Stop making excuses and get real about what's going on. Then do what is best for you. You can eat yogurt in peace, and if you do happen to choke on it, at least you don't have to die to the sound of someone laughing while they hand you the phone and tell you to call 911. I really can't see how you would want to eat anything out of your own fridge. It might be poisoned or at least pee'd in.
I don't think it's required to read other posts before replying to one. On a forum that's a lot of work. It struck me as that you had different rules for yourself than for her. That's not cool. I can see you're anxious and of course you have cause for it. But you brought part of that on by choosing to need to verify what your W told you. It was a choice that you made.