Originally Posted by LimboGirl
I am prepared to back this up, but I want to make sure he understands what I'm saying.
This is the most important part, otherwise your letter is only so many words floating around ungrounded.
I've read through some of your other posts. Your H sounds like a classic passive-aggressive person - what with all of the hidden agendas and such.
I started to research passive-aggression a few months ago. Not because of my H or all of the times I read about it on TAM, but because of a work situation. I have a man on my project team who is a classic case (several other people mentioned, "Oh, have fun with him - he's so passive aggressive" )and it has been very trying to deal with to say the least. And that is only in a work situation - I could not tolerate this in my home life. In desperation I even bought and read this book, even though there is only one chapter about the work environment. Amazon.com: Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man: Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom (9780671870744): Scott Wetzler: Books
Something to think about anyway.
But, the whole point is that you can't change him. You can only set the boundaries for what you are willing to tolerate and then enforce them. If that means you are willing to back it up by leaving, then so be it.
I hope that you can get out of being in limbo, and it sounds like this may be a good step toward that.