Re: Desperately want to end wife's affair
If you can afford PI, have the PI stake out the house and her and get photos. That might be better than you confronting them and possibly there being a physcial altercation.
Otherwise, tell her you are going out of town when you are not. Then go spend some time at a family or friends house.
This way you will be around to catch them. Once he's in the house, give them a while and then go into your house. It could get very ugly.
Is he married?
Or you could just confront her alone. Put copies of all of your evidence on the table. Tell her you know and either it stops NOW or she has to leave.
If she leaves, call the OM's (other man) wife and tell her about the affair.. now OM will be too busy trying to save his marriage and he will probably dump your wife. The affair is over at that point.
Under no circumstance do you move out of your home and leave your children.
The first step is to get the affair to end. Until that happens, rebuilding your marriage is not on the table.
You could read the book "Surviving an Affair" by Dr. Harley. It goes into how to recover your marriage in detail.