Originally Posted by Badsmit
He wants you to show him he matters and that you have changed. He may not know what you need to do and your past actions put you relationship (his feelings for you on life support). He wants to see that you know you were/ are wrong and that you can say/show you are sorry without being defensive and pathetic. It sounds like you made his life a living hell and he stayed that counts for something.. Most men are visual touchy feely creature (Hint). Stoke his ego without being patronizing. In short show him you love and are into him and say I know I hurt you and I am will to do what it takes to make it better (and be willing to do it). It took you 13 years to break him how long do you think it will take to rebuild his love and connection with you? DATE and DESIRE YOUR HUSBANDů.
I wouldn't be surprised if he is repressing years worth of resentment, anger, and frustration for what you put him through. I bet deep down he really wants to move on from it, but he's afraid if he opens up again, he'll just get burned.