Originally Posted by isla~mama
Well this new years he declared to me that he'd made a resolution to try to make amends with everyone in his life, including me. He apologized for the lack of sex, though he never went into WHY he never wanted sex, and began asking for sex when he was home. I told him not to do this for me (since I gave up so long ago) but if he is sexually frustrated or really wanted it (i.e., if it's not pity sex) then I am more than happy to accommodate him. I get the deer in headlights look at that point, or he rolls his eyes and says, "Oh, if *I* want it," or, "Yeah that's me, sexually frustrated." He has not done or said anything to me to indicate that he really desires me-- just that he's willing to cough up pity sex more frequently for my sake, which is a huge turn off for me. I would rather not have sex at all, than be given pity sex.
Maybe he's trying to make amends and do better by you? Why not give him a chance instead of assuming he's doing it out of pity? I think it's a mistake to come off so antagonistic to him right off the bat.
I feel your pain. My husband rejects me as well and I know all about the anger and pain rejection brings but if my husband was willing to work with me I'd be into giving it a shot but he pretty much tells me that he's the way he is and isn't going to change. Your husband seems to be trying to change. Don't shoot him down for that.