I only brought up the "other woman" offer after years of desperation and frustration. I guess I was just feeling in the dark to try to understand what on earth he wants or needs, sexually. But he acted shocked and surprised that I would even be thinking along those lines.
I don't see it as a loving attitude... but as a desperate, confused attitude.
He doesn't act squirrely at all on the computer... no quickly closed windows or anything like that. I do WOH part time, he is the main breadwinner though.
Around the time I gave up trying to initiate sex I also gave up trying to connect/ converse/ go on "dates" with him... so we have been living as friendly, polite roommates for quite a while now. But we really do love each other, I'm always so happy when he comes home and he loves me too... at least he claims to! We've built a nice life together, beautiful home and lovely children (we are very fertile apparently-- 2 of our kids were conceived with no sex in between).