Kysmom

Thank you for your response Sarah. Unfortunately, I think the situation got worse tonight, although I did get some things off my chest, but I still feel really frustrated.
See, for the past few months we have planned on going to this concert on Friday night, although we haven't gotten the tickets yet. At first a few of our friends were going to go with us, but they backed out. However I was still under the impression that we were going. In fact, as recently as this past Friday I mentioned to my husband that the concert was just a week away and he said "Wow, already? Well we'll still go." Then yesterday he broke the news that he and a few of his male cousins were planning on going to a ballgame Friday night. I asked him about the concert and he said he had forgotten. Nothing else was said about it until tonight when he made me check the time of the concert to make sure I'd get off of work in time to make it before it started. When we realized that I would you could just see the disappointment written all over his face. So I said "What? You'd rather go to the game?" And he said "Well yeah, but I guess I'll go to the concert if you want me to, even though I told the guys I'd go to the game." Then he went on to say that he'd just rather go to a game than a concert, so I said I'd be happy to go to a game. He was like "OK, we'll go sometime next week." He also said that he would've wanted to go to the concert more if our firends hadn't backed out. This disappointed me because it made me feel like he would rather do anything than do something with me, it also made me feel like he puts everything before me and will only do something with me when there is nothing else going on. I mentioned this to him and he said that I was just being a baby.
In addition to this argument, his phone rang while we were discussing the concert and he goes into the other room and I hear him say "Yeah, man I can be there" I asked where he was going, he said some of the guys decided to get together tonight. I reminded him that he had gone out Thurs. and Sat. nights, and would now be going out Friday night and is going out of town next week for two nights. He said "yeah, I'm a big boy, I don't see any reason to get permission to do anything and I don't see anything wrong with it." So we got into a discussion about how I don't feel like he behaves like a married man with a family and that evolved into a conversation about sex in which he informed me that he had wanted to tonight but now he didn't want to because my talking about it with him was a huge turn-off and now it will be weeks for sure before he's in the mood again. I told him how hard it is on me that I can't even flirt with him in a suggestive way because he will roll his eyes and say "Gaaaaaaawww" I told him that it's important to have intimacy in a relationship and his response was "So if I wanted to do it twice a day and you wanted to do it three times would we have a problem?" I told him no, that that's quite different from me wanting it once a week and him once a month or less and that something is wrong with that. He then said that I think I'm so mistreated and he's really tired of the "poor me" attitude and if I'm so unhappy why don't I just divorce him and get it over with and then he'd tell everyone that I left him because I wanted to have sex more than he did. He also asked if I would really be happy if I found a guy who wanted to do it all the time and that's it. And he said that if we divorced it would be bad for my son because I'd be dragging guys in and out of his life and why would I want to do that to him. The conversation finally ended when he asked what I wanted him to do and I said I wanted him to see a counselor with me and he replied with "I'll go when you can find a counsleor that will make me want to have sex more" I asked if he thought that was impossible and he said "Pretty much". I just don't know what to do. He says he's perfectly happy and that I'm just looking for problems. I also think that if I was to leave him he wouldn't really care. He'd honestly feel like he did nothing wrong and that it was all on me. If it really is my fault I want to know so I can do what I need to do to fix it. I just don't know what to think or do or who to talk to.