02-03-2012, 02:01 PM
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Somewhere in the world
| | Re: Wifes previous anal sex and my jealousy
Originally Posted by Feta
How is this a bad analogy? It is the exact same dynamic at work. In general, bad experiences happen all the time. You would be a fool to say, "I did not like that so I am never doing it again". If that was the case, you would never learn to ride a bike, eat vegetables and probably never have sex, as all of these things usually suck the first time.
The example was extreme to point out the absurdity of the argument. Unfortunately, the argument gets blurred because people inject their own morals and lose objectivity. In the end, it boils down to if you trust each other, then you should be willing to try anything. Keeping in mind that trusting each other means a lot of things, including, reading the other person and making sure things stay in a healthy place, if it gets uncomfortable, that's fine, that's growing, If we all stayed comfortable, we would all still be living with our parents.
As far as the OP's question goes, I just think it is unproductive and unfair that people would recommend he sucks it up because she said it hurts. As someone already pointed out, it's ok to slap and choke her...that's hot, but attempting anal sex makes him an insensitive jerk. Sorry but 1 + 1 does not equal 3.
Everyone is entitled to make boundaries for their own bodies, seriously. Anal sex isn't for everyone, she tried it, it hurt her, she doesn't want to do it again. It's one thing to ask and have a person say "No" but it's unproductive and unfair to whine and coerce her into doing something she said hurt her.