Originally Posted by Devastated2
Thanks Always Hopefull.
As much of a POS I have been to my wife, I couldn't leave her completely defenseless and out in the cold especially not after spending 9 years of my life with her and her giving me 2 sons.
My wife is convinced that she just needs some space to figure out what she wants in life because we started dating when she was 19. I know she feels like she had her partying and freedom years stolen from her.
She is convinced that she and her AP are friends first and if she told him she never wanted a romantic relationship with him, he would understand. I respond by saying you THINK that's true, but you DON'T KNOW.
Believe me I am the last person to tell you to do something mean to your wife. However, I do think that his guy and your WW both need a good reality check. You and I both know that given their history there is little chance that this guy just wants to be friends. He may be targeting your wife thinking that she will be in for some nice spousal support. Remember he too is living in the affair fog. Being faced with the reality of having to be financially responsible for someone else and help with her children may help him see the reality of the situation. An added bonus may be that he tells her that the whole situation is too much for him. Right now hes getting the all play no pay package.
I have a question about the bolded statement, has your W ever said she felt she missed out on partying? I myself had thoughts over the years similar to this, but I realized that it was my decision to get married and have children. Is she in any individual counselling? If she isn't I think she needs it, maybe even before she can be open to MC. With some IC she may be able to get herself into a better frame of mind and begin to open up to any suggestions made by your MC.
As an alternative to dropping her off on his doorstep, what about setting her up in the family home, with the condition she starts looking for a job and gets some IC. Just make sure that some of the money she earns goes towards the bills. If you really and truly want to R with her, she needs to fix herself before she can even be in a position to fix your M.