sammy3

I have to chime in here, as I am a wife of an international airline pilot. 29 years into the industry . I am also a twin.

It takes a really special kind of person to be able to be married to an absent partner . My twin, could not deal with an absent partner to save their soul. One has to be a strong individual, have a strong sense of self worth , be able to problem solve on the moment notice, confident in themselves, and like their own company in order to lead this kind of life.

I've had to deal with many many "home alone" holidays, birthday and anniversaries, as well as friends feeling sorry for me, ...as it's the pilots (and F/A) who take other family members to each other and away from their own ...

Long hours mean not enough time to connect at home, & lots of days apart. My son was in 6th gr before other parents realize I wasn't a single mom .

It was hard at times, waiting for phone calls, for delays, sometimes days, & long,long hours days,(some as long as 18/20 hours)and when the crews gets in to the hotels, they're dealing with jet lag, odd hours, different bed every night , bad food ... doesn't exactly make for the most pleasant person to return home somedays . But the up side was,... if i didn't want to, I didn't, I had the free time to shop, explore, visit with friends, take classes,start projects and not get interrupted if i didn't want to stop . If I wanted to lay in bed until 4.00am reading at night, I could without inconveniencing anyone. This was our normal. It really was the best of both worlds bc we were a team, in the marriage and in the career.

I tell you this , bc I made it work for 30 years. It was his career, his dream, job, his life, it's who he is, he's a pilot, and pilots like to go ... for someone to marry and ask for more when one knew the score, only you can decide if you can be in the kind of life that you've taken on. imho

~sammy