Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

yobbo · 02-05-2012, 09:26 AM

Hi, Dont really know where to begin but the basics are been married for 25 years, two kids 23 and 21. 21 lives at home, 23 lives with boyfriend and is very testing .
We have moved as a family over the 25 years with my job. I was always trying to better our position financially etc etc as you do! I had a career move 4 years ago, but my wife wanted to stay in the location we had lived for the last 6 years. We live in houses that go with my job and have done all my career. We decided I should take the job and find a rental for my wife. Son came with me. We visited each weekend for a year and then I realised she would not move so I was lucky that another role near by and secured the house with the job to get all back together again.
We have our own house by the sea about 300 miles away which we have been restoring for 12 years or so. I always thought the reason we have this house was as soon as we could we would move there. I am really hating my current job and feel really repressed and unhappy. I explain to wife but she does not want to know as she loves this area. I need support!! It is as if our relationship has hit the end. We dont have any intamancy at all and I feel my wife may resent me for the moving etc.
I have now managed after years of searching to find the job of my dreams and it is only 5 minutes from our own house by the sea. You would think this is a win win as we get to live in our own house at last and I am still able to provide a comfortable living. But no she says she does not want to move there or anywhere else.....why did we ever buy the house on the coast?? My wife thinks it is to difficult for the kids........ they are 21 and 23 and I am sure able to get on with life now. We will not be far anyway and they know they can come home anytime.
I know from reading this it sounds a bit selfish of me but believe me I have tried most things you might suggest to make this work. i am not saying we should go our own ways but really am questioning the future like i never thought i would. Dont really know what to do???

02-05-2012, 09:26 AM	#1 (permalink)
yobbo Registered User Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 1	Not sure what to do anymore Hi, Dont really know where to begin but the basics are been married for 25 years, two kids 23 and 21. 21 lives at home, 23 lives with boyfriend and is very testing . We have moved as a family over the 25 years with my job. I was always trying to better our position financially etc etc as you do! I had a career move 4 years ago, but my wife wanted to stay in the location we had lived for the last 6 years. We live in houses that go with my job and have done all my career. We decided I should take the job and find a rental for my wife. Son came with me. We visited each weekend for a year and then I realised she would not move so I was lucky that another role near by and secured the house with the job to get all back together again. We have our own house by the sea about 300 miles away which we have been restoring for 12 years or so. I always thought the reason we have this house was as soon as we could we would move there. I am really hating my current job and feel really repressed and unhappy. I explain to wife but she does not want to know as she loves this area. I need support!! It is as if our relationship has hit the end. We dont have any intamancy at all and I feel my wife may resent me for the moving etc. I have now managed after years of searching to find the job of my dreams and it is only 5 minutes from our own house by the sea. You would think this is a win win as we get to live in our own house at last and I am still able to provide a comfortable living. But no she says she does not want to move there or anywhere else.....why did we ever buy the house on the coast?? My wife thinks it is to difficult for the kids........ they are 21 and 23 and I am sure able to get on with life now. We will not be far anyway and they know they can come home anytime. I know from reading this it sounds a bit selfish of me but believe me I have tried most things you might suggest to make this work. i am not saying we should go our own ways but really am questioning the future like i never thought i would. Dont really know what to do???