Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

brokenbythis · 02-07-2012, 02:51 PM

I have started to research divorce attorneys in my area. Hopefully I can find a few that will do free initial consultations. And also bill HIM at the end.

I read all these other posts about infidelity and in the majority of them, the cheater expresses remorse, apologizes, does everything they can to make things better, recommits himself 100% to his/her spouse.

My H has done none of these. The closest he has come is to mumble "sorry" and "I didn't mean to hurt anyone".

It's all about him. He has done nothing to mend the damage he has done, he still blames it all on me for being a crap&y listener, etc. In reality he has never shared anything with me on a deep level, ever. He has always gone to others, especially this female "friend". I have always felt from the beginning of our marriage that he has a hard time connecting with me. I think there is something in his personality that no matter who, he would have a hard time connecting with the person in his primary relationship. He has never had a long term girlfriend before me, and we got married at 31.

He comes from a seriously messed up family with mental illness issues, divorce on all corners of the extended family, his own dad left and his crazy mother to this day says she has no idea what went wrong. Ha! How can you have no idea why your marriage ended?

How did I make such a poor choice? Good question. I've been in IC for the past 5 mths finding out and I think it's pretty clear to me now. It's still hard though. I moved here from another country 11 yrs ago, I have no support system, no money, no job, a dear beloved child who needs so much of my help just to "make it" every day and its scary.

That being said, I cannot live like this any longer. I deserve better, I deserve to be loved unconditionally and honestly, without a third person in my marriage. And my son deserves to see a better example of a marriage.

02-07-2012, 02:51 PM	#10 (permalink)
brokenbythis Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 505	Re: Husband refuses to end contact with EA I have started to research divorce attorneys in my area. Hopefully I can find a few that will do free initial consultations. And also bill HIM at the end. I read all these other posts about infidelity and in the majority of them, the cheater expresses remorse, apologizes, does everything they can to make things better, recommits himself 100% to his/her spouse. My H has done none of these. The closest he has come is to mumble "sorry" and "I didn't mean to hurt anyone". It's all about him. He has done nothing to mend the damage he has done, he still blames it all on me for being a crap&y listener, etc. In reality he has never shared anything with me on a deep level, ever. He has always gone to others, especially this female "friend". I have always felt from the beginning of our marriage that he has a hard time connecting with me. I think there is something in his personality that no matter who, he would have a hard time connecting with the person in his primary relationship. He has never had a long term girlfriend before me, and we got married at 31. He comes from a seriously messed up family with mental illness issues, divorce on all corners of the extended family, his own dad left and his crazy mother to this day says she has no idea what went wrong. Ha! How can you have no idea why your marriage ended? How did I make such a poor choice? Good question. I've been in IC for the past 5 mths finding out and I think it's pretty clear to me now. It's still hard though. I moved here from another country 11 yrs ago, I have no support system, no money, no job, a dear beloved child who needs so much of my help just to "make it" every day and its scary. That being said, I cannot live like this any longer. I deserve better, I deserve to be loved unconditionally and honestly, without a third person in my marriage. And my son deserves to see a better example of a marriage.