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Let me just say I'm sorry your husband treats you this way. I have never understood why a woman will let this go on especially more than once. I am a man and would never treat my wife like that even though I can be angry at times. When I was young I took my poor girlfriend situations out on my car instead of my girlfriend. I suggest you end the relationship as civil as possible and move on. In regards to the other man, after the divorce is final take the relationship slowly.