Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

Hime · 03-17-2008, 02:41 PM

I need help fast.
My husband and I have been together for 11 years and married for 8. at the age of 29, I found my husband masturbating while watching internet porn. (I may have reacted differently exceot he wasn't comming to me for this and I always thought that was what a wife is for) I have always veiwed this cheating and was ofcourse deeply hurt by this. When I spoke to him about it he said it was nothing. And it was my fault for not initiating sex. I had on 3 occations in our relationship and was shot down each time. I have never forgotten due to it being humiliting since it took alkot of guts for me to do it.
For days I could barely even look at him without crying. I tried blocking the websites and checking the browser histories to find out just how much of this was going on. His response was irritation to this, but I just found it impossible to trust him anymore. Now he has special erasers to remove his history so I can never find it.
Last year he talk me into taking a job that makes alot more money but only allows me to be home 4 - 6 days a month. I have been trying to get a local job that may pay less. He just says but it won't give us as much money...
Now I find myself at 31 years old, to be a very lonley married career woman. (I am crying just writing this) With this distance added to our relationship I am truly begining to resent him for not wanting me home no matter how little money I make. I know my husband loves me, I just don't don't know if I still love him the same way I did once. I hate myself for it.

About 3 weeks ago, I met a kind hearted man on the internet. I had not intended for anything to happen but I seem to wait all day for just 10 minutes of conversation with him. (something I have never had with my hubbie) I don't know why this man makes me feel alive and like a person instead of a paycheck.
I am very afraid of where this is taking me.

Can you guys offer any advice?

03-17-2008, 02:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
Hime Registered User Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 3	Internet Porn I need help fast. My husband and I have been together for 11 years and married for 8. at the age of 29, I found my husband masturbating while watching internet porn. (I may have reacted differently exceot he wasn't comming to me for this and I always thought that was what a wife is for) I have always veiwed this cheating and was ofcourse deeply hurt by this. When I spoke to him about it he said it was nothing. And it was my fault for not initiating sex. I had on 3 occations in our relationship and was shot down each time. I have never forgotten due to it being humiliting since it took alkot of guts for me to do it. For days I could barely even look at him without crying. I tried blocking the websites and checking the browser histories to find out just how much of this was going on. His response was irritation to this, but I just found it impossible to trust him anymore. Now he has special erasers to remove his history so I can never find it. Last year he talk me into taking a job that makes alot more money but only allows me to be home 4 - 6 days a month. I have been trying to get a local job that may pay less. He just says but it won't give us as much money... Now I find myself at 31 years old, to be a very lonley married career woman. (I am crying just writing this) With this distance added to our relationship I am truly begining to resent him for not wanting me home no matter how little money I make. I know my husband loves me, I just don't don't know if I still love him the same way I did once. I hate myself for it. About 3 weeks ago, I met a kind hearted man on the internet. I had not intended for anything to happen but I seem to wait all day for just 10 minutes of conversation with him. (something I have never had with my hubbie) I don't know why this man makes me feel alive and like a person instead of a paycheck. I am very afraid of where this is taking me. Can you guys offer any advice?