I think the issue of porn is a personal one, and I can understand if you feel betrayed by his thoughts of other women. When I found out my husband was looking at porn, my initial reaction was the same. However, I did a lot of searching on my own (reading books and looking online to learn what I could about men & porn) and what I did find was that it is quite common and multiple sources indicated that it is instinctive for men to look at other women to ensure survival of the species...breed with as many as possible. If this is true, then I would be asking him to go against human nature. I chose to look at it another way, if he's looking at images, he's doing what is natural and not fighting his instincts but in a much healthier way than interacting with actual women. It might have been easier to find out that only a small number of men look at porn/other women so I could say "just stop it, perv" but in the grand scheme, it feels better to know it's normal and nothing to do with his feelings towards me. Ok, done ranting about my newfound view on porn...bottom line is you need to be at peace with whatever he is doing and if you cannot be at peace with it, it is an issue within your marriage...just wanted you to know that it is pretty common so if you end your marriage based on this issue, don't be surprised if you run into it again at some point. If you want to stay with your husband, you really need to get everything out in the open so you can work towards common goals together and both feel connected and happy together. I can tell you from experience, that an emotional affair with an actual woman is MUCH more painful then the thought of him viewing porn...I had the joy to discover both
On the upside, our marriage is better than I ever imagined because we learned how to talk when things bother us, stay connected & live each day loving the other and just having some fun together.