| | Re: How can you wrap your mind around it and recover intimacy?
In my case I really had to look at it as an entirely new relationship. I had to learn to love her again because immediately after the affair I hated her more than I have ever hated anyone in my entire life. Post D-day I did everything I could to hurt her short of physical harm but I came damned close to that as well. But she took it all and really did do the heavy lifting. Even so she still had to earn my trust much like a stranger would but it was even harder because I would have trust a stranger more than her at the time. It's actually funny but since I started coming here to TAM I have often wondered why I actually gave her a second chance since I had always said I never would. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely happy that I did but it really was contrary to my nature at that time to do that.