Originally Posted by synthetic

Sorry you're going through this.

First of all you don't leave. If anyone leaves, it's her.

2nd, does this exBF live in your state? Is there a possibility of them having met since the last time you confronted your wife?

3rd, gather as much evidence as you can and then confront your wife. Tell her, she has 24 hours to come clean about everything and send a No Contact letter (that you draft up) to the exbf or else you will be filing for divorce and exposing the affair to everyone including her family (with hard evidence).

She will most likely go back and forth between being remorseful and angry. Don't pay any attention to her initial reaction.

Give yourself time to cope with this and continue to monitor your wife's activities.

No you're not fighting for your wife with some other man. That exBF is just a temporary temptation and has little chance of turning into anything meaningful. Of course your wife is not wise enough to understand that yet.

Good luck and keep us posted.