Originally Posted by mahike
I think that was well said. I tried to tell my wife that I felt our marriage was dead our old life was dead and if we had anything going forward it was going to have to be a rebuild from scratch. It was hard for me to imagine that she did not think about what she was doing to us to me!
The range of emotions and anger that I have felt is unimagineable and is so hard to describe to anyone that has not been through it.
I do not want to look over my shoulder for the rest of my life that the person I love is not completed comitted to me but that is what is going to happen. If I stay with my wife or if It ends and I have to start again. I know I can never trust with my whole heart again.
I completely understand what you're saying. It is hard to express the emotions that the BS feels which I why I tried to do it here. Since starting posting on TAM I have had to relive a lot of the feelings and pain that I did when I found out about my wife's affair. But since it was 20 years ago I feel I'm in a better position with more emotional distance so I can try to put those feelings into words that will hopefully help WS understand what they BS is feeling.
And yes Jelly I was speaking specifically of WS that want to reconcile but even some who decide to split seem to want forgiveness for their actions. I understand that even less.