Quote:
Originally Posted by Amplexor
You are not alone. Some of your post reminds me of my marriage a year ago. Not seeming to have anything in common. Our marriage is still on the rocks for various reasons but my wife and I are back to being really great friends and we enjoy being with each other. It appears you have both withdrawn from the relationship. You said you were a selfish person. That may drive him away to other hobbies. He is too busy with work and hobbies and doesn’t spend time with you alone. You feel alone. Because he gives you less, you give him less and visa vers. See the pattern. A couple of suggestions. First make time for the two of you to discuss your feelings. Second you should both read Chapman’s Five Languages of Love. Find out what your love languages are and try to do those things for each other. Make time for each other together with out the kids. Take dancing lessons, have a regular date night. Meet for lunch someplace that’s just for you two every couple of weeks. If you don’t like the same TV shows trade off weekends and rent a movie. One week one you’d like to watch, the next him. Watch them together and snuggle up. Spending time together can bring back a lot to a relationship. My bet is if you do it you’ll find more in common than you thought you had. Good luck.
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Thank you for your insight. When I say I am selfish, its because I feel its hard to take the first step. Its like if hes not going to do it,then I am not either.. I dont feel selfish in all areas. LOL
His car hobby, has been a love interest of his even before Imet him. When we were dating he always told me his love for cars, his love for fixing and selling and all that stuff. It is not new.Part of my problem is I feel if I had a better marriage I wouldnt resent his hobby so much. I know its a vicious circle.
At this point,I feel that either one of us is or wants to make the first move. Its hard to want to even watch tv with him. He makes it perfectly clear each and every night, he wants "his" time..he makes it perfectly clear that he works two jobs and that it his time once the younger kids are in bed.When weekends come, he lets us all know, that it is his time to work on his hobby, as he has no other time.
I truely understand this. He works, he is entitled to his time.I would never take that away from him, or anybody.
So I feel.
I am, however, going to the library this morning to see if I can find that book you mentioned. Ive seen it mentioned on several other websites, so it must be a good one
