Quote:
Originally Posted by draconis
Marriage isn't about working at it but rather doing a little something for it everyday.
You need to calmy communicate to him the things you want and need from the marriage. You need to tell him you feel like the relationship is drifting apart.
On another level you have to undertand and respect where your husband is at. You want affection but find it okay to control the affection he gets and wonder why he isn't more giving without communication or you leading by example.
In some ways it sounds like you have been a self fulfilling doom. You wanted to be a mommy and stay at home and your husband gives you all that but can't have one hobby?
draconis
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Ok.. I believe EVERYBODY should have a hobby or other interests. I would never take that from everybody.. I guess for people to truley understand you would have to see it day by day.Him working on cars is just not a every once in awhile hobby. When we were dating he told me he loved cars, love to work on them, fix them etc... But, really a lot of males like cars. I didnt find this unusal.
Maybe I am over reacting...I will give a quick example of day to day life. On his early days from work, he comes home, sits down for maybe 10 minutes. Then, changes to his working on car clothes.. He will go outside and stay there until dinner time.. He comes in eats dinner, goes right outside. If he is not working on his car, then he is off to an auto part store buying a part etc. Weekends come, if the kids have an acitivity, he goes, but not with out saying "how much longer do we have to be here"...come home, change clothes and right outside.. This is no lie. This goes on day after day, week after week. So if it is selfish of me to think this way too much time, then I am the bad person.
I certainly dont feel like I control the affection. Maybe it comes across that way because I feel resenful..
But, there are things hes said to me over the yrs, that I cant let go...
Its really hard to feel connected living with somebody who feels more like a roommate.
I know its really about taking the first step...but I am a very sensitive and emotional person. When my feelings are hurt, it gets hard to move on.
He makes negative comments to me about my parenting, how I do things etc..It really hits hard. Instead of arguing about it, I say nothing..
I could go on and on about this subject, but I wont..