This is not healthy in my opinion. Your both missing out with the best gift God has given us. Sex is absolutely wonderful. It will bring you both closer together, a bond like no other.
Good luck. A sex therapist maybe able to help. I agree that it's psychological. There should be no pain, unless you go too fast at first.
I couldn't imagine my life without it. Try using a k-y gel, this works very well.
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