| | Re: Can a LD wife ever win?
I just finished re-reading my 2am rant and see that I really didn't ask much of a question. It was just that...a rant. I am glad, though, that I got it off my chest.
@SomeLady, I say that I'm an LD because I really don't have a regular desire to have sex. I can go weeks without it and be fine. Your synopsis of 2 to 3 times a day is correct. Without it he feels frustrated. He'll go without it as much as he can, but the fact remains that he wants it. It sort of hovers over my head when he's not getting it.
@FirstYearDown, we've had the 'you're probably a sex addict' talk. And he agrees he probably is one. He knows his needs are unreasonable. But, I've enabled them. So, now that things have changed (to roughly 5 days a week), it's like I've been lying to him all these years. How could things change? Why now? That's what he's left feeling. And I feel bad for it.
@Jeff74, that's exactly why I've done what he wanted, because I didn't really know what was too much. I'm flattered that he wants me at all! I can't imagine a life of my husband not being attracted to me, and I am all too aware that it could be that way. But with everything I DO do you would think that a break would be okay.
He always tells me that his satisfaction doesn't get stored away. He says that time without it is the equivalent of dog years, so one day without sex is more like 7.
So, you're telling me that this is a lot even for an HD person? If so, then maybe we should speak to someone. I just thought that men need and want sex all the time. Period. And that women, as wives, should give in to his needs. I mean, men think about sex constantly, right? And I don't want my husband out and about unsatisfied. That's just asking for trouble! Sex, to me, is one of the biggest factors in marriage failure. When the sex is right everything else just falls into place.
What do you HD spouses do for your spouses to help them get through? I need to hear from other HDs. I need to understand why the need for sex is so detrimental. I mean, I need a friggin cupcake every now and then, but I'm not pissed off all day when I don't get one. (Not to minimize it; I couldn't think of a different analogy.) Can you give any suggestions I could pass on to him?