Beechnut

A few months ago I discovered that my husband had been looking at porn on the Internet. We have been married for 11 years and have two young children. Over the past two years we have been more like roommates than husband and wife. When I asked him about it, he was very ashamed and embarrassed. He told me it was something a friend had told him about and he was curious. And that maybe the curiosity had become a habit. I cried for days. Over the next few days we talked more, he told me he was sorry, he never meant to hurt me and that it was probably the worst thing he had ever done. He said he would stop, and he has. After crying myself to sleep night after night, I went to talk to a Psychologist (I had seen him before for a fear of bridges) The Dr. was a big help, but he could only do so much, because my husband wasn't with me. That night I told my husband about the Dr, and that he said this could be the beginning of the end for us, or an opportunity to reconnect with each other. My husband told me over and over he did not want to divorce, and that we would work this out. Well we haven't talked about it since, I think I somehow felt bad for him and even though I still had questions, I let it go.
Since then our relationship is much, much better. Making time for each other, and the sex is back in action, in fact he is getting a vasectomy in two weeks. In fact he told me the other night out to dinner that he hasn't been this happy in a long time. So why am I telling you this, because it still really bothers me. I don't think about it every single day, but enough. I just can't understand why he would do that. I think he had been looking at the porn for about two years ! I tried to talk to him the other night, and well he "didn't want to re-live it" so the conversation went nowhere and I still have this sinking feeling every time I think of it. What now...I'm not sure this feeling will ever go away!