Talk About Marriage - View Single Post

Lost · 03-21-2008, 02:22 AM

I don't think you are to blame for any of this. With the exception of permitting the trip with the students in the first place, you haven't played a wrong note. Committing to a marriage and a family is life bond. You don't get to just change your mind about it because you "want something new"--especially with children. Any long term relationship results in changes of feelings over time, usually by one person before the other, but the committment to stay together is important. Any longing for independence or adventure-seeking that she may have, she should be able to satisfy, and want to satisfy with you in the form of spicing things up, seeking counseling together, dating together etc. If she has shown that she has no interest in working it out with you, then I'm so sorry to hear it. Having just been done similarly by my long time girlfriend, I can empathize on a few levels. I think you should try to find out if she is willing to try and improve things with you, and if not I think YOU should cut her out of the picture. A 30 year old mother has no place going out drinking and crashing God-knows-where with God-knows who and taking weekend trips with college kids. If she thinks acting like an 18 year old girl is some kind of substitute for a committed marriage and motherhood, then she's obviously not fit fit for either and doesn't deserve them in the first place. i'm sorry that after so long your relationship has come to this point, and i do see the value in trying to work past this, but unless she can honestly tell you that she WANTS it to work, that she wants to try, then it can't.

03-21-2008, 02:22 AM	#11 (permalink)
Lost Registered User Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 6	Re: opinions I don't think you are to blame for any of this. With the exception of permitting the trip with the students in the first place, you haven't played a wrong note. Committing to a marriage and a family is life bond. You don't get to just change your mind about it because you "want something new"--especially with children. Any long term relationship results in changes of feelings over time, usually by one person before the other, but the committment to stay together is important. Any longing for independence or adventure-seeking that she may have, she should be able to satisfy, and want to satisfy with you in the form of spicing things up, seeking counseling together, dating together etc. If she has shown that she has no interest in working it out with you, then I'm so sorry to hear it. Having just been done similarly by my long time girlfriend, I can empathize on a few levels. I think you should try to find out if she is willing to try and improve things with you, and if not I think YOU should cut her out of the picture. A 30 year old mother has no place going out drinking and crashing God-knows-where with God-knows who and taking weekend trips with college kids. If she thinks acting like an 18 year old girl is some kind of substitute for a committed marriage and motherhood, then she's obviously not fit fit for either and doesn't deserve them in the first place. i'm sorry that after so long your relationship has come to this point, and i do see the value in trying to work past this, but unless she can honestly tell you that she WANTS it to work, that she wants to try, then it can't.