Amplexor

I will get up on my soap box again and point out that this is a perfect example of the effect porn can have on a marriage. I am so sorry you are experiencing this. I made a similar mistake a couple of years ago and it definitely hurt my marriage. There where other issues also but the porn had an impact. For those of you out there who are engaged in using pornography, think about what it could do to your spouse’s feelings. If they have self confidence issues about their looks or weight, finding out will exacerbate them. It could leave them feeling unloved and undesired. Your spouse may also wonder what you are bringing to the bed with you when you are making love. Who or what you may have seen on line that you are thinking about when you make love to them. Put yourself in their place and how you’d feel if they did the same to you. I don’t know if I can classify the use of porn as “cheating” but it can definitely hurt your spouse and that is wrong in any form. I am not a prude or holy-roller by any stretch but I do believe that making love is supposed to be between two loving people in a committed relationship. Not something to be filmed for the almighty dollar and the entertainment of others. Porn hurts lots of people. The young man or woman at a college party that gets drunk and does something stupid while some perv videos it and sells it online for a hundred bucks. It will no doubt be an act they will regret for the rest of their lives. The porn industry uses people then tosses them aside like a used condom when they have served their purposes. It pollutes the minds of our young people and desensitizes them to what making love is all about. It sets unobtainable expectations for them in choosing a mate and partner. It exposes them to acts of violence, incest and rape and presents it as “normal”. It is a pollutant in our moral fiber and it is available 24X7 in virtually every home in America. Some on this forum will disagree with me that it isn’t just a trivial “release” for someone to engage in, that’s fine. But here is a classic example of how it can hurt a marriage and unfortunately I had to learn this lesson the hard way.

Beechnut, this can get better for you but it will take time. Make sure he understands just how much this hurt you. Explain how you felt when you found out. He needs to understand your pain in order to make sure he doesn’t falter. You will need to regain trust and find forgiveness for him in order to move on in the relationship. If you can both do these things then things will improve and your marriage can be a wonderful thing again. Good luck to you both.

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Amp

Confidence – Love – Patience – Faith Are the tools to help heal a marriage.