My wife and I both work full time jobs, 40 hours each a week and have three small children, keeping our house in order is tough and can be very frustrating.
Now we have a good friend who has 4 children and the mother is a stay at home mom, there house is just as messy or messier then ours. I listen to him complain and whine about how she does nothing....which he has a valid argument.
Now, as in every marriage, as said above it's team work. Yes, he probably works a ton of hours and is exhausted when he comes home and wants a beer. I know I do, but nothing drives me more crazy then when I walk in the door after working then being "told" to take out the Garbage, do this do that...etc.
Rule of thumb...Feed him first, let him relax, let him ahve abeer or a drink....Then politely ask him to take out the garbage or see if he will do it himself.
After Diner I usually will take the garbage out, I also assign jobs to my children...10, 8, and 5. To do certain tasks, like cleaning the dishes, Vacum, take the trash tot he curb on trash day...etc.
Bottom line it is team work, no one is exempt from house work.
But if my wife was home, I would expect her to do more then she currently does....and to never tell me to "do" anything, asking politely or even sexy works better.
Honey works better then vinegar.