Originally Posted by worrieddad
Hey m2m....If you were to do that, all you are achieving is showing them you are willing to be their backup person. It can only serve to validate their actions....and open yourself up to be hurt over, and over, and over again. It is so hard (I am about to start that cutting away process), but I think demonstrating to them that the door is still cracked open is quite possibly the worst thing you can do.
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I go back and forth with this... we have been together since we were in HS and almost 3 decades together. I believe he is in MLC and I don't know if he has OW (maybe online and maybe having EA). I started feeling things going south for about 18mos but just figured it was a down in our marriage. He left, moved out to get some space and I have many kids and I guess I have left the door open for now because of our history and our kids. I have done a bit of the 180. I rarely initiate contact unless it's kid/finance related and time essential.
I guess I do keep my hopes up too much... he knows he has done a lot of damage(but so have I) and is thinking that he may have done too much harm to come home and try to fix it, but is unwilling to do seek help in MC/IC or anything else.