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Asking her directly may not help either because she may not have any idea, or she have shut this part of herself down completely and won't give herself permission to feel it as a result of taking care of others and what she feels are her life/family obligations.
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I feel like this is a common cause, women get so wrapped up with everything else that they forget about their marriage, as a result things like sex, flirting, etc...get pushed aside for more "important" or urgent things and then the man feels neglected or unimportant and then he withdraws emotional, which then kills any and all chances for intimacy as the women now feels neglected as well. Its a vicious cycle to break out of for sure.