Originally Posted by AbsolutelyFree
I think that men have to accept that a lot of women just aren't into this as much as they are.
Imagine if you replaced the word 'sex' with some hobby like baseball or stamp collecting. You feel disappointed and resentful that your wife doesn't show as much interest in this hobby as you. When she makes an effort expresses interest that is obviously forced, you feel frustration with her because it's 'charity' interest.
She might be making a sincere attempt to show interest in stamp collecting, but she just doesn't have the same passion for it as you. Can a she make herself enjoy stamp collecting and feel the same excitement over it as you? Is it bad if she can't?
I think that a lot of men unrealistically believe that there's a course of action which will somehow change their wife into a person who feels the same way about sex as they do. I think it's an unreasonable expectation. After a certain point, I think you have to stop obsessing and stressing out over it and be happy with what you have.
I guess sex is a hobby for some men but they are having it with many different women.
Sex is not a hobby. It is a reall need.
When we say that the wife is not into sex as much as a man, I read the wife is not into the marriage as much as her husband.
I got married to have an exclusive ongoing active sexual relationship with my wife. Part of that is living together and sharing ourselves with each other in many ways including sex. I married a woman because she is a woman who I fell in love with. She provides me with Dopamine and Oxytocin.
I chose my wife. As she did me.
This is how I choose to define my relationship with my wife.
1) Her Exclusive Lover
2) Her Best Male Friend
3) Her Husband
In that order.
No Sex = No Marriage ( this is true for me )
Now if for some reason there were medical / health issues I am not talking about "for better or for worse" situations. I am saying that by its definition marriage for me is having that exclusive and active sex life with my wife. Not going to see the Mavs play or going to the mall. I enjoy doing all sorts of things with my wife. None of them matter if we are not having good and frequent sex.
I guess we can say that when we take sex out of the equation wives just have to realize that guys are just not that much into their wives as much as the wives are into themselves.