Originally Posted by veryconfusedhusband
No I am not a Nice Guy that needs affirmation in fact I did not even notice it for years that she was not givIng me much. I am not a needy guy but if we have not had sex in weeks I do withdraw out of frustration because I just get tired if being shot down it gets so old. I don't want to go to MC because it seemed to actually make it worse like affirmation for her cause I was changing we were in counseling but I never got what I needed. My wife is wicked smart when it comes to social dynamics she is a psychologist herself and she will break down analyze and cross examine me on a three minute conversation we had earlier in the day. She remembers every last word I myself have many degrees but in the moment I don't proccesss that way. So we have a minor argument and then try to discuss it later after kids go to bed. Usually in this time it is discovered that I did not clearly hear her exact words and while my actions an words were not intentionally meant to annoy her or whatever it led to an arguement. Sometimes when I tell her well I did not realize you told him to do that she will say well I explained it to you but you ignored me. Which occurred because my focus was on my conversation with my son. So I am not really listening to her because I am feeling undermined trying to be a parent and she feels undermined because I am not following through properly with her prior instruction to my son. See we were both right in our intent but if I had listened to her words exactly I would have known that but for her she says I believe you but intent us just not enough anymore you need to listen to me. Yeah but my son was talking frantically and quickly I was focused on him. I will never ever leave and she is not giving up either after our argument last night we cuddled and watched tv. Right now it seems to that she just wants an improved me and who can blame her that is I guess what I want from her but I don't thnk it is gonna happen. Jesse I reallly appreciated your perspective but the part guys don't get us why? You say he is sexy and you love him in 30 minutes or less you could just tell him please take your time pleasure me. Yeah we want to just feel you and touch you while we listen it helps us feel good to. Oh yeah we want our cookies too but really when we have had our best sex if she orgasms first sometimes we will stop cause she can't take it anymore and I am often ok with that and will not even ask her to help me finish any other ways. I am crazy in love with her she is beautiful and smart and a great mother to our children.
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confused, have you said exactly what you just said to us about her TO her? the part about her being beautiful, smart and an awesome mother?